F1 fans who follow the many pundits on Twitter may have come across Lewis Hamilton’s ‘Spring Layers’ shoot for GQ, where the Formula 1 Championship driver poses in various (some may say ill-advised) outfits.
It was only a matter of time, but the photoshoppers have started: take a look here. My favourite is the knife-throwing one…
In fettling the blog and dusting it off I took another look at how people were finding it via Google.
Alongside the usual searches for Wakefield, Trinity Walk and coffee percolators there’s some really bizarre search terms in here, including:
- pinke hintergrundbilder
- vibrating tongue bars
- anime blowjob
- self fisting
- flamenco wallpaper
- sue lawley legs
…and a pile more really odd ones.
Christ knows what you lot are up to…
Nicked shamelessly from Subhi…
- A project is one small step for the project sponsor, one giant leap for the project manager.
- Good project management is not so much knowing what to do and when, as knowing what excuses to give and when.
- If everything is going exactly to plan, something somewhere is going massively wrong.
- Everyone asks for a strong project manager – when they get him they don’t want him.
- Overtime is a figment of the naïve project manager’s imagination.
- Quantitative project management is for predicting cost and schedule overruns well in advance.
- Good project managers know when not to manage a project.
- All project managers face problems on Monday mornings – good project managers are working on next Monday’s problems.
- For a project manager, overruns are as certain as death and taxes.
- If there were no problem people there’d be no need for people who solve problems.
- Some projects finish on time in spite of project management best practices.
- Good project managers admit mistakes: that’s why you so rarely meet a good project manager.
- Fast – cheap – good: you can have any two.
- There is such a thing as an unrealistic timescale.
- The more ridiculous the deadline the more money will be wasted trying to meet it.
- The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90%.
- The project would not have been started if the truth had been told about the cost and timescale.
- To estimate a project, work out how long it would take one person to do it then multiply that by the number of people on the project.
- Never underestimate the ability of senior management to buy a bad idea and fail to buy a good idea.
- The most successful project managers have perfected the skill of being comfortable, about being uncomfortable.
- When the weight of the project paperwork equals the weight of the project itself, the project can be considered complete.
- If it happens once it’s ignorance, if it happens twice it’s neglect, if it happens three times it’s policy.
- You can build a reputation on what you’re going to do.
Some of this I agree with, and I have met many many project managers to which much of it applies. One day, I will probably be able to write a book about it. Enjoy your Saturday.
As seen on Facebook…
T’was the night before school started when all through the town,
The parents were cheering – a riotous sound.
By nine, kids were all washed & tucked into bed
Where memories of homework filled them with dread.
New pencils, new folders, new notebooks too!
New teachers, new friends – their anxiety grew!
The parents just giggled when they learned of this fright,
And shouted to all “GO TO BED! IT’S A SCHOOL NIGHT!”
Monday, I get the place to myself again and working-from-home means I get a few hours of uninterrupted thinking-time… yay!
An online pal of mine, Vicky, posted these to Facebook earlier…
MIDDLE AGE TEXTING CODES:
- ATD -at the doctor
- BFF -best friend fell
- BTW -bring the wheelchair
- BYOT -bring your own teeth
- FWIW -forgot where I was
- GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low
- GHA -got heartburn again
- IMHO -is my hearing aid on?
- LMDO -laughing my dentures out
- OMMR -on my massage recliner
- ROFLACGU -rolling on floor laughing and can’t get up
- TTYL -talk to you loud.
It’s A-level results day in the UK, which means lots of photo opportunities.
Thus from @JoeTheDough and @flashboy comes Fuck Yeah, Sexy A-Levels which in their own words is “The more egregious examples of the UK Photo Editors’ tendency to promote rather more teenage flesh on A-level results day than would perhaps seem required”.
SFW, although you may get odd looks from your colleagues.
Hot on the heels of the last Yorkshire Joke:
A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet:
Yorkshire man: “Ah’ve come to see thee abaht me cat.”
Vet: “Is it a tom?”
Yorkshire man: “Nay lad, I’ve browt it wi’ me.”
I’ll get me coat.
From Robert Wyatt’s Wikipedia entry via Tim:
Recently the verb “Wyatting”, named obviously after Robert Wyatt, appeared in some blogs and music magazines to describe the practice of playing weird tracks on a pub jukebox to annoy the other pub goers. The name was coined by Carl Neville, a 36-year-old English teacher from London, because one of the favourite LPs for this effect is Dondestan.
Robert Wyatt was quoted in The Guardian: as saying “I think it’s really funny,” and “I’m very honoured at the idea of becoming a verb.” However, when asked if he would ever try it himself, he said “Oh no. I don’t really like disconcerting people. Although often when I try to be normal I disconcert anyway.”
Edit: And in what seems to be becoming an obsession for young Tim, he’s found a Grauniad article as well.
Alright, I don’t usually blog rude stuff unless it’s really amusing but I’m going to make an exception for this: The 25 Most Disturbing Sex Toys.
I’ve known about the Baby Jesus butt plug and vibrating tongue for a while, but items like the rubber fisting mitten (remember kids, “plenty of latex safe silicone lubricant when using this and don’t forget to use some to shine your fisting glove like I have here”) and the anime doll (“show her who’s boss”) give me the fear.
And if you’re now morally offended, go download the nudist typeface from Craig Oldham’s website.