Tag Archives: rants

Jan 13

There’ll Be Another One Along In 5 Minutes

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The other night I was discussing an impending album release from a local band: as is invariably the case with skint unsigned acts the CDs would be duplicated by the band themselves and sold at gigs. I was offered a sample CD to take home but with the caveat “but it’ll still change”. A bit of discussion ensued and we came to the conclusion that left unchecked their album would keep on changing, evolving, and effectively no two batches produced would the same: comments from listeners such as ‘oh the drums are a bit loud’ might result in a balance change, or ‘that cowbell doesn’t fit there’ could mean an arrangement alteration. Put simply: there would never be a ‘final version’, even after the album launch gig, and it would be a perpetual ‘demo’.

Now, I am a firm believer of a release being ‘a point in time’ for an act, a snapshot if you will. When you bite the bullet and submit your track to get an ISRC (basically a barcode) you need to submit the exact track you are releasing, and when you have physical media duplicated then that’s where you draw the line: a hundred copies are etched and that’s it, no going back, no ‘tweaks’. Effectively you as a band or act are forced to draw that big black line on the mix, warts and all – that’s what separates the demo from the release.

Yet with home manufacturing it’s all too easy for a band to change things after-the-event, and it does a great disservice to the people who have been to (say) your launch party and bought a copy. Many new performers and young acts are too impatient to release their new tracks, so version-upon-version is published to Soundcloud (or whatever music-site-du-jour) spoiling the impact. As a band/act you’ll never be completely happy with something because after all your tastes evolve and your hearing changes, but that’s no reason to rewrite history.

There are some wonderful examples of ‘slightly broken’ performances out there – off the top of my head Minnie Riperton, David Bowie, The Beatles, Barry Manilow and even Scott Joplin have recorded imperfect versions which have a charm to them. Many of those would have been lost had it been easy to ‘evolve’ a track and I think we’d have been worse off for it.

As an extreme case I can cite an artiste whose second album consisted 40% of slightly reworked/reproduced versions of tracks from her first album. Her third album was 50% reworked/revised tracks from her first and second albums. Goodness knows what the fourth contained but I’ve stopped buying her albums now – I might as well wait for the seventh or eighth so I can hear some new work.

Mind, I’ve not been exempt from this in continued adventures with Obvious Pseudonym: 18 months ago we released The Six Noises EP, then a week after I’d the master copies had been dispatched I tweaked it into a ‘Special Edition’ version correcting lots of little mistakes I’d noticed since the band listening-party. Thankfully the original run of CD production was cancelled so we didn’t have to deal with physical copies, but still the iTunes version was different from the CD version in small, subtle ways (I believe the CD version is superior but you may have a different opinion). Nowadays I sit on a mix for at least a month and will go back and listen to it with fresh ears some weeks after it’s been mixed or frequently longer, eg. I noticed a slight mis-timing in the piano track on Baby Baby just the other week… 16 months after I recorded it.

In short? Don’t rush a release, give it time, but draw a line and wave goodbye to a recording once it’s flown the nest – don’t keep picking at it. Your fans will – eventually – thank you.

Edit: As @mattbluefoot points out: ‘This could be paraphrased as “don’t be George Lucas”‘. :P

Feb 22

Is There Anybody Out There?

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GAAAAAAAH! I hate not getting any feedback! I’m increasingly finding myself in situations where I’m working my arse off day in day out, sometimes struggling valiantly to meet deadlines imposed on me, and then the meeting doesn’t happen or there’s a deafening silence.

This is irritating for a number of reasons:

  • It may mean I can’t continue to the next stage of a project without risking wasting time.
  • A lack of affirmation of ‘what the client wants’ invariably leads to greater misunderstanding later on.
  • It causes diary issues when the client eventually does come out of the woodwork demanding action right now (and of course something else is blocked in so I either have to play Tetris with timesheets or disappoint the client).
  • There will be less testing time resulting in the real risk of major issues being discovered post-deployment.
  • The project slips and slips and slips…

…And of course if I’m not doing work, I can hardly do a billing run so my own income suffers.

I realise clients pay the bills and call the shots, but if you employ contractors to carry out work at least spare them the time they need to do their job and give you value-for-money. If you don’t, you’ll lose cash, your contractor will go elsewhere come renewal time, and your project will die on its arse.

(Note: This is not aimed at any individual or organisation in particular, it’s industry-wide. Of course this is a hazard of the job, but it seems to be getting worse. Gah.)

Jan 11

National Rail Enquiries Website: Epic Redesign Fail

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Just before Christmas, one of the better corners of the UK Internet underwent a transformation which saw it go from minimalist mine of useful information to web-2.0 bevel-edged gradient ad-infested bollocks overnight.

I’m referring to the National Rail Enquiries website. ‘Designed’ by the agency Fortune Cookie and launched by ATOC slap-bang in the middle of the worst weather we’ve seen in years (pretty much guaranteeing that it’d go on its arse within a few days), it’s a mess.

Granted they’ve fixed some of the more irritating problems within the first month: incompatibilities between browsers, adverts slapped ad-hoc over useful pieces of information – y’know, all the things five minutes of QA would have sorted (which was an essential requirement in the tender document). However under the hood it’s got an epic usability failure: it’s difficult to find out what is going on, and the quality of information has been reduced to the extent that it is almost useful, but not information you can make travel decisions with.

The previous versions may not have looked so ‘pretty’ – certainly it wouldn’t win any design awards – but it was useful. For instance, you could pretty much guarantee that stuff would appear on the service disruption page quite quickly, sometimes within minutes. A case in point was a large-scale failure on the Airedale Line this morning leaving trains around Shipley in a state of cancellation and mess – was it detailed on the NR site? Was it bollocks.

It’s also failed for mobile access (although you can go direct to the live departure boards if you know the magic invocations or have it bookmarked). Those with iPhones may be able to buy an iPhone app for rail querying – nice revenue stream there of course.

I’m not the only one pissed off with the changes: a cursory dig reveals quite a few whinges.

Of course it all fell on its arse when the snow started in the UK recently, killing off the argument that ‘the new site can cope better with the spikes in traffic’. As one friend put it, “FFS, even we have a cdn service that could cope with this and we’re….8 people.” Quite.

Ultimately it actually seems to be about increasing the advertising revenue on the National Rail Enquiries site itself. The company who designed it will surely be preening themselves at the lovely curves and web2.0 gradients, but sadly that’s at the expense of its usefulness when you need to find specific information quickly – the biggest epic fail of all.

Aug 20

Canon Pro Network, EOS 50D, Jessops Part 2

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Time for a bit of a sweep up on tales of photography which came to conclusions recently…

Remember my whinge about Jessops’ poor repair service where they’d taken 10 days to get it to Canon’s repair centre? I got my EOS 5D Mark 2 back with a note of ‘readjustment’ – after a little bit of research it turns out that this is a fairly common operation, and while they don’t map the pixels out they actually re-adjust the CCD (which bit I don’t know, so don’t ask). Jessops themselves are unrepentant about the delay, it’s fairly average for them and the Interwebs are full of complaints.

In the course of my investigations into quicker repair options I came across Canon Professional Network. While most of the website is open to everyone (I recommend the video tutorials/masterclasses from professionals), if you qualify for their full programme you get priority repairs and equipment loan if it takes more than a week to get the unit back to you. The entry requirements are fairly sizeable – you have to own at least 2 L-series lenses and 2 ‘professional’ bodies (base requirement is EOS 40D so your entry-level dSLRs don’t count nor do the older bodies).

They also make sure there’s a repair centre on-site at major events such as Wimbledon and other major sports events, yada yada. That way if something goes bang you can get it sorted damn quick (and they cover your lenses too, hooray).

Anyway, I qualified for it in the end because I’ve acquired a Canon EOS 50D as a body for Nicky to use. The 30D has been very heavily used (the trigger is reluctant to fire sometimes) and the accessories will fit a 50D so it seemed like a sensible purchase. Nicky’s used it a little bit on holiday and I’m looking forward to the first gig pics using it.

I guess I’ll see how the repair service deals with the G9′s failure and will report sometime in the future, but bear in mind the experience may be a little different as it’s a travel-insurance job.

On a side-note, there’s unsubstantiated rumours of the EOS 7D (again) and of course the new G11 has been announced. Maybe if the G9 is irrepairable I’ll go find one of those instead.

I’m so Canon’s bitch.

Jul 23

Jessops Slow Repair Service Part 1

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OK, I’m annoyed. No, scratch that – I’m fucking livid.

After some nice experiences with Jessops over the past couple of years, they’ve done something that’s really irked me: they’ve sat on my repair job without sending it off.

Let’s backtrack: my Canon EOS 5D Mark II (list price over £2300) developed a small rash of measles on the CCD – dead pixels which would come up as red blobs indicating early CCD failure. Any photos which came out had to be manually retouched (including a lot of the ones from Pride London 2009), a completely unacceptable situation. I’d previously written about Jessops in both Leeds and Wakefield being excellent so let me be clear here, I’m not laying this at the door of the shops themselves.

I took the unit to the Wakefield branch of Jessops which (in my opinion) has a competent manager and isn’t so busy that they rush you along. Quite aside from the computer being a bit odd and linking the serial number to a Canon EOS 30D (!) they managed to book it in and said the courier would pick it up same day.

That was about a week and a half ago (10th July). I’ve started getting anxious for an update since I’m off on holiday next week and wanted to spend a good while getting to know the camera in bright conditions. I dug around on Jessops’ site for a link to repair updates: nothing there, no help at all – and the helpline I did phone said ‘call Canon on 0844 369 0100 and choose option 1′. So I did.

After sitting through what seemed like eons of ‘you must call xxx if you have yyy’ and other prerecorded messages I finally got through to a polite lady who took the serial number of the camera body, and then said she couldn’t tell me anything because of ‘data protection’. Right. Finally through a two-step comprising me telling her bits about what it was in for and stuff (and that it had been booked through Jessops) she let slip it hadn’t arrived at Canon until 20th July, it was in ‘the queue’ and the average wait time was 5-7 working days.

So, just to clarify: Jessops didn’t forward my 5 month-old camera body to Canon for almost 10 days.

(Sidenote: Jessops shouldn’t have told me to phone the Canon service centre apparently; “They know they’re not meant to do that.” said Polite Lady.)

I’m not optimistic of receiving the unit back before I go on holiday on 29th July. Indeed, aside from having to go back to the 30D I’m steeling myself for either a dash back up North on the Thursday, or getting a friend to courier the body out to Montpellier if it comes back in time (which might be a silly idea anyway, we’ll have to see).

To say I’m pissed off is an understatement. More as it unfolds.

Jul 09

Bad Day At Cat Rock

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This morning my horoscope said I would have to fix the house up. Wrong polarity – I have to fix everything else…

It started with Nicky dropping off IRC mid-morning – turns out her laptop had started acting mad (again). Last time it was the main heatsink which was covered in shite and had destroyed the logic board, it’s manifesting the same symptoms (mad HDD action) so I’m suspecting it’s the same fault – but her Macbook won’t boot completely and she’s got photos to sort from the weekend.

Then we were meant to have a rehearsal, and after I got sharp-tongued at the last one by Nicky I thought I’d leave it to her to organise. Bugger. Rehearsal didn’t happen and we’re on in less than two weeks. Because of the sheer insane amount of work I’ve not had chance to plop in the middle 8 for one of our new tracks either.

The CME VX7 master keyboard I bought is faulty… not quite what you expect for a £500 piece of kit. Annoying, so back it goes – however the vendor hasn’t got any more so I’m trying to get something different. Yet they’re not returning my calls at the mo. A longer blog entry will be forthcoming regardless of whether the conclusion is positive or negative, the experience needs to be imparted once it has finished (as those who remember the IBM/Lenovo debacle will attest to).

End of the day, I get back to the car park at Outwood and the Punto won’t start – flat battery, God knows why this time, turns then goes ‘rurr. rurr.’ and the clock resets. Lovely. Nicky had to jump into the other car and come give me a jump start (memo to self, get longer jump-leads).

I get home, eventually, unable to eat too much tea ‘cos my tummy was in stress-knots by now. I sort a few photos, intending to get on the 8pm bus to Wakefield. I get caught up trying to sort out Nicky’s laptop and eventually installing Lightroom on the Mac Mini so she can finish her photo retouching. I miss the 8pm bus, so start sorting Pride photos so I can get the 8:45pm bus to take photos of Antonio Lulic at The Hop.

It is at that point that the worst of the day happens – while sorting photos I discover the Canon EOS 5D Mark 2 so beloved by myself now has ‘hot pixel’ syndrome, manifesting itself as a couple of red dots on every fucking photo. I spend an hour trying every bloody trick in the book (manual clean, mapping dust, updating firmware, swearing at it and accusing it of being born out of wedlock) before finally giving up and resolving myself to Canon’s service desk in the morning. Or Jessops’. Probably Jessops given past experience, thinking about it.

It is now 10:30pm. I have missed Antonio’s set, and cannot take photos with the 5D. I am fairly thankful I don’t have any gigs booked any time soon but would be able to use the 30D in any case. I have a glass of Bordeaux brought for me by my lovely wife: tomorrow is another day and one which I suspect will be a shitload more stress judging by the insane amount of client emails and Basecamp ‘to-do’ notifications.

…is it holiday time yet?

Jun 19

Mobile Phone Cameras Are Killing Live Music

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And so last night we went to see the Pet Shop Boys at Manchester Apollo. I’ll blog about that in a bit but this is a little more of a grouch, so deserves its own blog entry. Actually no, it’s a full-on rant.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT YOUR FUCKING CAMERA PHONE DOWN AND WATCH THE GIG YOU PAID A FORTUNE TO COME AND SEE.

I am absolutely sick to the back teeth of paying a fortune for concert tickets to go and watch a band, purely to have some retard in front of me holding his camera phone sky high so I can either watch his arms or see it all through the back of his LCD display. This applies especially to large concert venues with stalls, gigs with lots of visuals, or places where we’re all crammed together and dancing.

So, tips for aspiring photographers at gigs, please:

  • Remember people are standing behind you – they don’t want to see you fiddling with your camera all the way through. They paid just as much as you for a ticket (and may be shorter in stature as well).
  • If you do want to take a few photos (which is fine, I do it myself with the Canon G9 occasionally), don’t do it throughout the entire gig. At some gigs I get asked to photograph, I’m restricted to a couple of songs where I can take pics then I have to sod off (or at least not get the camera out again) – take the lead from that, the rule’s there for a reason.
  • Feel free to stand in the aisles, in front of a stairwell, next to a wall, somewhere like that and hold it high if you want – at least you’re not pissing anyone off behind you.
  • If you’re not backed by a wall, aisle, etc. then hold the camera at head height, not a foot and a half above.
  • If all else fails and you do want photos, take your pics in the cheering, applause, etc. when there’s no major performance going on – folks can’t really object to that when they’ve got their hands in the air cheering!
  • Turn the flash off! You will get shit photos with the flash on, probably of the backs of the heads of the two rows in front of you and unless you’re an aspiring hairdresser this will not be what you want.
  • Likewise they don’t want to smell your armpits. It’s hot in here, don’t make the experience worse.
  • Avoid taking video – the sound will be terrible (loud, distorted), the quality will be awful, and the bloke standing behind you will miss an entire song.
  • Hey, you might be on a hide into nothing anyway: unless you have brought a reasonable point-n-click your phone photos will be rubbish – blurry, lots of movement.
  • The gig photographers will do a better job than you, why not look on Flickr for the event tomorrow morning instead (I found some pics of last night’s gig which are lovely)?
  • Remember YOU PAID HARD EARNED DOSH TO SEE THE BAND, NOT HOLD YOUR CAMERAPHONE UP.

So, last night I finally said something to the guy in front of me: “‘Scuse me feller,” says I. “Are we all going to have to watch the gig through your phone screen?” “Er, no. Sorry.” he stammered. At least he did shift it, and was suitably embarrassed. It’s just thoughtless.

This may strike you as hypocritical considering I profess to be a reasonably competent gig photographer (and get frequent requests from bands to take photos for them). Fair one. However, I try and be careful not to get in the way and I think I do that pretty well (doing stupid things like crouching next to million-decibel speaker stacks, and less stupid things like turning off the LCD) – OK there’s been one transgression (knocking a mike stand, thankfully in an almost deserted pub) which I duly beat myself up over for days afterwards but by and large I’m there to get in the way as little as possible.

Ergo, I’m not saying “don’t take photos” – I’m saying “don’t let it get in the way of other paying customers’ enjoyment of the gig.”

In other words, just be considerate eh?

Apr 18

Charity Mugging At Wakefield Westgate

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I’m off to Doncaster Beer Festival today, so I’ve shown up at Wakefield Westgate station to buy a tick…

“Excuse me sir, isn’t it a nice day outside?”
“Lovely but…”
“Have you got a moment please?”
“Er, no actually…

…et. Hang on a moment – there’s the scourge of the high street transferred to the station, a pair of chuggers (that’s charity muggers), paid folk who get you to sign a direct debit form in return for giving to charity! Er, no thanks.

So, off I go to buy a ticket. While in the queue…

“Please can I have a moment of your time?”

…and then standing on the concourse trying to read the timetable…

“Having a good day, feller? Can I…”

…strolling round to the buffet…

“Have you ever considered…”

…and still I’m polite.

Thing is, there were only two of them (resplendent in yellow tabards from ‘Action For Blind People’, registered charity 205913) but Wakefield Westgate concourse is so small it seemed they were everywhere.

Please, take a hint and fuck off. This must be the subconscious reason I’ve had for using Outwood Rail Station for the past few months. I mean, it must be counterproductive – apparently this lot have been around for about a month according to the nice lady in the buffet and they’re not very well liked by travellers either. Especially not me.

(Add to this the lack of any customer service people at the station and a massive queue at the desk certainly at 1340, incorrect announcements, incorrect destination displays, and a disinterested woman at the ticket desk working at the speed of stoned molasses, it just ain’t their day.)

Feb 13

Leeds Railway Station Barrier Fail

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There used to be manned ticket barriers at Leeds railway station – manned by real people who would check your tickets and stuff. You’d usually get two people there at least, reasonably efficient. That all changed a few months ago when the barriers got pulled up, the staff moved elsewhere, and the powers-that-be put in automated ticket barriers.

Since then it’s been a total fail:

  • The barriers take several seconds to open! Although I’m used to London Underground barriers (ticket in/run through/grab ticket/close behind you) the time taken to get through the Leeds barriers is excessive and causes extreme congestion in rush hour.
  • The ticket readers are unreliable – standing there for half a minute attempting to get the thing to read your Metro-card looks to be quite common.
  • There’s usually at least two barriers wide open, attended by agency staff who don’t look at the tickets anyway.
  • There’s usually at least two barriers out of action (broken?) with cones or something across them.

However, there’s an even bigger failure you can have fun with: you can use almost any mag-stripe ticket in them. One morning I was in a hurry and pulled out an expired Metro-card, which quite happily let me through the barrier; subsequently I tried a London Underground ticket from 2007, a National Rail ticket from 2005 and even a ticket from somewhere foreign (Trans-Perth rail probably). I’ve also had confirmation that credit card receipts from the ticket machines work as well.

(NB. I should point out at this juncture that I did have a valid Metro-card during the period of testing, at no point did I attempt to dodge fares).

It does bring an interesting question to mind though – why did they install these? It’s easier to fare-dodge using the new barriers (if not via the expired-ticket method then you can just stroll through since the attendants don’t check tickets anyway); it doesn’t increase efficiency but instead increases congestion as commuters attempt to get through the barriers; there’s no decrease in staffing either.

It all just seems a waste of time, and it’s bloody frustrating for us commuters.

Oct 21

Crystal Reports vs PHP

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“Crystal Reports – oh dear God I’d forgotten about that – the last time I used it was in 1998 when I worked with Deverill in Poole. Horrible piece of software.”

And now I’m getting it to talk to PHP via the Crystal Reports web service. *shudder*